My Date with a Wendigo by Genevieve McCluer

Author:Genevieve McCluer [McCluer, Genevieve]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781635556742
Publisher: Bold Strokes Books
Published: 2020-01-26T16:00:00+00:00

* * *

“I talked to Carol.” I sit curled up in my car on the side of the road, my knees tucked under my chin. It hit me harder than I thought it would. “I was such a terrible girlfriend to her, and I never even cared. How was I so broken that I could treat her like that?”

“You’re the therapist; you tell me.” Sandra’s familiar voice fills my car.

“Narcissistic personality disorder?”

“You’re not a narcissist.” Her voice is calm and soothing. “You were awful to her, but from the sound of it, you’re being so much better with Abby—who you still haven’t let me see, by the way—and based on the fact that you actually care now, it sounds like you’ve really grown.”

I throw my head back, smacking it against the headrest. Why would Abby possibly want me? She deserves so much better. “I just made Carol cry more. I’m clearly not that much better if it didn’t occur to me that going there would make things worse for her. She’s so miserable. I don’t think she’s left the house in the last two weeks. I’ve been off with Abby almost every day, and the girl I was dating just two weeks ago is barely holding it together.”

“Abigail disappearing did quite a number on your ability to get close to people. Now you know why she did it, and you’re managing to move past that, but your behavior was perfectly reasonable.”

“That sure doesn’t sound like what you said last week. Weren’t you mad at me for dumping her? And what if now she ends up just as messed up as I was? I hurt her as badly as Abby hurt me, and I didn’t even have a good excuse.”

Sandra sighs. “Liz, you’re being too hard on yourself. You and Abigail had something special. You and Carol didn’t. You were a terrible girlfriend, and she knows it. She’ll get over you. She just needs a bit more time.”

“Thanks.” My reply is only a little bitter. I know I was terrible, and that she’s right, but it still sucks to think of myself that way. I’d been convinced that I was fun, laid back, and just not that into commitment. Now that I’m with Abigail, I’d commit in a second. I wasn’t just enjoying my twenties or whatever other bullshit I told myself. I was using other women and leaving a path of destruction in my wake. Even committing to doing better is so meaningless since now I’m with someone who I actually love, and there’s no reason for me to act like that again. “You really don’t think I’m an unrepentant monster who doesn’t deserve the happiness I’ve managed to find?”

“If you were any of those things, you wouldn’t be beating yourself up right now.”

I manage a half-smile. “I guess that’s a fair point.”

“Abigail is good for you. She’s finally made you the person I always knew you could be…the person you were back when we first met.”

“Well, I’m glad I’m regressing, then.

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